A new Facebook page is giving fathers who are fighting for custody rights a place to vent—especially those in the south. Created by Nathan Butler, who is a father of two, the Fathers That Care page is meant to inspire discussion. The main rule? Dads (or any members) cannot speak poorly of any mother. It defeats the purpose, explained Butler.
“Just because the relationship failed with the mother doesn’t mean you don’t want a relationship with the child,” said Butler.
He is currently fighting for visitation with his two children and experiencing many problems, something he says is rather common in Arkansas.
Don’t let emotions cloud your judgment, when sorting out what’s best for your child/ children. We can all me winner in the long run if we put our feud aside, for the sake of our children
Posted by Fathers That Care on Saturday, August 1, 2015
Even as some fathers struggle with an unfair justice system, the Facebook page is not about the near-hate many feel towards a former spouse or girlfriend. That anger is understandable, even if it’s not the best route, especially in a legal setting. Community-focused discussion opportunities can help dads vent some of their frustration so that they can approach the legal system and face their child’s mother from a more positive perspective. As a father and an attorney, I understand that frustration well. I also know that a calm, focused, and determined father is more effective than one who feels defeated before he enters the courtroom.
In both Tennessee and Arkansas, if a child is born out of wedlock, the mother automatically gets full custody. It is up to the father to prove paternity before he can fight for legal rights. Butler feels a child needs both parents, and he’s not alone.”It’s not cool; you need both parents,” said Butler.
In one recent exchange, Butler responded to a post:
“The courts are never going to be fair to the fathers”
Butler’s reply: “Things are changing trust me J”
Fathers want to play a role, a big role, in the lives of their children. Progress is being made—and it’s long overdue. Social media may not seem a likely place to discuss this, but for many fathers, that’s exactly where they first begin connecting with others who share the same struggles.
Butler is now working with a local filmmaker to make a documentary about the subject of father’s rights. He is definitely inspiring other dads. The Facebook page has won more than 20,000 likes in a matter of a few months. With inspirational messages like, “A daughter needs a dad to be the standard against which she will judge all men” and “A good parent does not take their child’s rights away out of hate and anger for the other parent” it is clear that Butler is aiming to spread a positive message.
There are some misdirected conversations, but Butler tries to keep things on an even keel, discouraging foul language and having a zero tolerance policy for “badmouthing” mothers. His page’s popularity is evidence of his success in fostering a place for healthy discussion.
If you’re concerned about your parental rights and want to explore what options you have, I welcome the opportunity to discuss your case. Contact my office today and we’ll schedule a consultation at a time convenient for you.